top of page

[lastyvesniin] Don't Waste It, for My Tears Are a Bank (230816)

My eyelids feel heavy

But I couldn't fall asleep

So I came on the blog

And read the comments you have been posting

I would feel bad about only receiving

There's nothing profound I can give back

But I do have a lot of records of pretty fun moments

Just like the countless ads you see while scrolling on your phone

Please read these just like that, easily

[T/N: The following are screenshots from Yves' notes app, with her captions underneath]

August 13, 2022, 8:52am Potato salad Sweet potato fries Soda/iced tea +hot bbq, ketchup

How come fries are so good

When I went on the world tour

We had to send in our orders in a hurry each time

Because delivery takes quite a while

And places close early.

For me, who likes to organize neatly before sending

I end up with a ton of funny memos like this

June 13, 2021, 2:21am Let's not waste new tears on old sorrows There is no such thing as bad people, only bad circumstances Let's think of everything from the reverse perspective

Don't waste it, for my tears are a bank

Saving is quite difficult, no matter what I'm saving

Guess I must have been quite the grown-up on June 13, 2021 ㅋ..,

Must have felt like I've transcended somehow (mm for good reason too)

But the world nowadays is so scary

There definitely is such a thing as a bad person


May 29, 2021, 3:25am The backside of an object

The shadow of a shadow

This kind of stuff is so interesting to me

Time passes by in a hurry when I'm thinking about them

May 30, 2021, 2:06am They say life is lived through memories

Even now, 1, 2, 3... My memories pile up

For 27 years now, every new year

I bravely buy a diary

And then brazenly neglect to keep it

Which I thought of as pathetic but,

I guess I've been diligent recording in my own head

April 2, 2021, 12:52am Rotten Heart A rotten heart With no one to give it to Is right here Feeling pity for a heart That's never seen light I force and force myself To swallow it

I wrote this after tasting rotten milk and being shocked

When I lived in the dorm

Our fridge seemed like it would explode

And when you haphazardly shove food in like that

You forget about the food you have.

That's how I always encountered food past the expiration date

I would think, 'Ah it's just three days, it won't kill me'

And eat it

And oftentimes they almost did kill me

[Undated] I know the name of a longing that you can't reach even if you call to it The world has too many things you don't need to know Sometimes a mystery should be left alone

On the express bus

The way from Busan to Seoul is quite long

Who was I longing for, on that day?

November 17, 2021, 10:17pm If going first: totoma If going last: matoto

˗ˋˏWowˎˊ˗ so ridiculous and funny

This is actually so ridiculous

I was trying to win at this drinking game

So I wrote down how to play the tomato game

[Undated] [...] I just want Haneul to become what you want to become, do what you want to do. For this unnie, Haneul's happiness is unnie's happiness, so Haneul's choice is always the right one, and I'll always cheer for you Unnie loved Haneul so so much, and I'm never going to forget you and keep loving you. I'm sorry I could do nothing for you even when you were sick. Haneul's hurt is all unnie's fault. You can blame me. But unnie still loves Haneul very very much. When you reach Puppy Star, don't be discouraged and do everything you want to do. Unnie remembers back when Haneul was bold and mischievous. Aging, getting old, all this is just the principle of life in a way, so don't be too upset at how you are now. Haneul is a precious and amazing being, so you can fly free. And no matter how Haneul looks, to unnie's eyes you're always pretty. If I could make just one wish, once in a while please show up in unnie's dreams too. And when unnie looks at the sky and thinks of Haneul, please listen to my words. I've written so much about how I'm sorry But even more than that I love you Haneul, my baby

Are you well?~

On the day Haneul was sick

I thought it really was the end

So I called right away

Asked Mom to put Haneul on

And I expressed these feelings while sniffling over the phone.

Funny yet tearjerking

Haneul lived for another half-year before that

Haneul~ What are you up to now?

April 4, 2022, 8:40pm Butterfly >>> Us Dreamy, nostalgic, synchronized choreo, sentimental -> A little distinct from overwhelming and explosive First verse, "You're the deja vu that wakes me" -> The girls who were struggling after a nightmare Begin to wake one by one The nightmare here is (the things that bind us, the prejudice against us) Will take me far away, take me, fly -> Wants to escape from this place > Wants to find a savior > No, finds courage to fly away herself (a butterfly is inactive at night, but finds courage) Butterfly at night Butterflies rely on their vision, so they cannot see at night >> Masks to cover our eyes, see-through cloth performance Bridge Synchronized over the clouds This new feeling, breathtaking time >>> First time taking flight at night, but a new feeling, freedom Repeating lyrics, I better be around u >>>> u is the place of escape from nightmare, an ideal, the world we found by ourselves >>>> imaged, it's "the Moon!!!" Butterflies can't be active at night, but if the Moon shines on us that brightly, there is no reason to be afraid "Girls who found courage in dim moonlight in the deep, nightmare-like darkness, and take flight in search of the bright Moon" So far we have never once been able to properly use the theme of the Moon, and since Butterfly is the song that represents us, I want us to make use of the Moon Outfits that make us look like butterflies

Queendom idea sketch

Back then, I was so full of burning passion

(Right now too. ᐟ. ᐟ. ᐟ. ᐟ )

And I was able to realize each time

That the joy of being able to conceptualize and craft something

and then make it happen is so electricㅋ

December 4, 2022, 4:18am The barometer of youth Being angry, being happy, crying Rock paper scissors?

I'm youthful I guess


I think we're youthful

If I ever find myself no longer upset or excited

At the little wins and losses that get decided by a single round of rock-paper-scissors

I think I will feel sad

April 9, 2022, 3:25pm The lark's winter is the dandelion's spring The dandelion's spring is the lark's winter

There is no such thing as a season that lasts forever

And no such thing as temperature that lasts forever

Even if it's by 0.0001 degrees, it's changing every day, every moment

Even if pointless days after days feel meaningless

The meaning of meaningless is having no meaning

Even this word has a meaning and so,

Again today, to you all

I, who receive love without compensation

Send a message with recipient unclear

Your spring is my spring too

I am now off

To eat tteokbokki

["Let's be strong" "One beating if you cry"]

Wishing you all happy days


1 Comment

Sep 01, 2023

i love her

bottom of page