After practice, back in my dorm, in the silent closet
I packed down my clamors into a diary
Which piled up layer by layer onto my finger and hardened
Quietly I gazed at my finger
And gathering the faint images that floated into mind
I conjured Mom
I faced my mom for the first time in a long while, the wrinkles between her eyebrows creasing deep
Her smile lines were not as deep somehow, but her mouth seemed to droop
Haneul-ie, who left my side
Perhaps because she was curled up every day
Her front legs had rolled up, which only after she breathed her last breath
At last straightened out
For some time, What is it that I could do
For what purpose was I born on this Earth
No matter how much I asked, the open-ended question of loneliness
Remained unsolved
I stood up my two feet on my revolving Earth
And kept, I kept, seeking the whereabouts of disappeared stars
Towards the empty, pitch-black universe, with a tilted throat
I exhale a syllable of a song that could extinguish at any moment
I still think of Haneul when I look at the sky
And so I started to look only at the ground
Soon enough, the top of my feet are submerged in muddy waters
And they cry, weeping, every time I walk
Do you have someone that you still ache over too
Do you still walk over damp ground
If I knew it would be this way, I should have named you something difficult
Like that, I spend every dawn mulling
It doesn't feel real that what remains of you is but a handful.
I keep finding myself hugging a doll about the same size as you.
The sky grows brighter
Tap
Tap
Tap
Yes, baby, bidding me to look out the window
'Unnie, today it will rain. So it's not your fault, unnie'
'Okay, thanks. I won't cry today'
'Okay. But unnie, how come you sleep in the sea?'
[Written on the box:
2023. 01. 15 Around PM 11:00, departed for Puppy Planet...
Haneul
Goodbye
Be happy
And healthy]
Are you well?
Forever my dongsaeng
Today I packed my things from the practice room and brought them back.ᐟ
Many thoughts are running through my head, so I am recording my day.
Footsteps made over the damp ground
Will disappear when the rain falls
I console your grief
With grief
Once again today, wishing you peace
For each of you that I've reached by coincidence, your names unknown, but beloved by me
Wishing that the long, long rainy season that's approached us
Will not be feared
🫶
Comments section:
Yves: This seems just about the time when you might lie in bed and read this, so I'm posting this now. You've all worked so hard today, love ya more than anything 💋
Yves: Thanks for pointing out the typo ^~^🫶 Everyone I'm lying down over here eating jelly, please don't cry anymore., And have a good night🛌
Comments