[lastyvesniin] I Wanna See a Blogeu.... Please (240620)

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["Unnie I wanna see a blogeu from you.... Please"]

Hello

It has been too long since I stopped writing on the blog

I've been wanting so badly to write but, gee

Due to this personality where I have to do everything right to the end

It's hard for me to start things, so here I am giving excuses for why I'm late

But I have been reading every single comment you have been posting

For the sentiments I am so overwhelmingly grateful for, I'm sorry and I love you

I promised you to write a blog post this evening no matter what

So I could not put this off any longer and I pulled out my laptop.

Due to my nails that have grown commensurate with the time that's passed, it is quite difficult to type (the heck am I saying I got extensions)

I finished the last music show

Compared to how much I have asked you to wait and wait

I felt like the promotions were too short and I have not shown you worthy performances

So I very much did not like myself, and I kept thinking "Next album I am l i t e r a l l y gonna kill it.."

I'm not actually planning on killing people, more like just working to death

Anyway after debuting like this and looking back

I feel such affection for my fans who endured those times when even I was tired and exhausted

What good did I do in my past life that I was allowed to meet you all

I am so thankful today that we were born in the same age, share the same interests, and tell the same time

As I say that, I almost deleted this post by accident

In this moment I am also thankful that it did not get deleted

Indeed each moment of living in this world is a constant stream of gratitude

I was sick

I absolutely abhor exaggerating sickness

But this enteritis had me in a real duel against the grim reaper

...

I don't know how many thousands of times I was groaning "aigo" on the bed..

And thinking about how being sick prevented me from doing the last show properly

It was a tough time on my body and mind alike

But I am better now and able to write like this so.. Again thank you

Me stuck in the MCD waiting room

Me taking a weird selfie at Show Champ.

Mom and Grandma came to Seoul on showcase day

and stayed a few days with me

How my heart aches when we are apart

I would have dreams about Mom dying and cry loudly in the morning

But whenever I actually see them, I'm just the cynical youngest daughter

While I was gone, they told my sister that they're sad how I'm always only working all the time

And how I never tell them anything that happens, anything that bothers me.

I don't tell them because I don't want to burden them, but that too becomes disappointment

The relationship between mother and daughter is complicated

But I also understand her better than anyone

When I was little, I disliked how Mom would cry at something small

I was anxious when Mom would clutch her heart and take meds when there was a loud noise

But when I face the years, it is Mom, not me, whom I see in the mirror

I am growing to resemble Mom

I gained life from my mom

And ever since I was separated from her, even though she is by my side

I suppose I miss the moments when we were together, because I am always hungering for my mom's embrace.

Once when I looked at Mom's notebook, I saw me there as well.

Mom was a girl too once.

Mom also missed Mom, and she missed Dad too.

Mom. I miss you too

I write my love for you like this

I've told you already but wish you a happy 60th birthday, Mom

Even more than my own birthday.

Thank you for being born

Shall we change the subject

The day when I filmed YouTube with Choa unnie

This is my perspective when I woke up from sleep

I was blackout drunk yes

The pretty roses that Director Byeong-gi-nim sent me on showcase day

Thank you, Father

Me that's now in the past, telling myself "Let's go! Let's not get nervous and do well"

Pretty lotus flowers that I found on Pinter

Sooyoung tired from practice

This is a flower that bloomed upside down

No, I lied to you

You may have noticed, but I simply took this photo upside down

The world is such a place where truth is one thing if you say it is

and it is another thing if you say it is

There is no such thing is a person who is one kind of way or another

No such thing is "this is misfortune" or "that is happiness"

The important thing is the perspective you see with

And I think I am still clumsy

Today I will try sleeping upside down

For walking upside down is dangerous

Please have a peaceful night