["Unnie I wanna see a blogeu from you.... Please"]
Hello
It has been too long since I stopped writing on the blog
I've been wanting so badly to write but, gee
Due to this personality where I have to do everything right to the end
It's hard for me to start things, so here I am giving excuses for why I'm late
But I have been reading every single comment you have been posting
For the sentiments I am so overwhelmingly grateful for, I'm sorry and I love you
I promised you to write a blog post this evening no matter what
So I could not put this off any longer and I pulled out my laptop.
Due to my nails that have grown commensurate with the time that's passed, it is quite difficult to type (the heck am I saying I got extensions)
I finished the last music show
Compared to how much I have asked you to wait and wait
I felt like the promotions were too short and I have not shown you worthy performances
So I very much did not like myself, and I kept thinking "Next album I am l i t e r a l l y gonna kill it.."
I'm not actually planning on killing people, more like just working to death
Anyway after debuting like this and looking back
I feel such affection for my fans who endured those times when even I was tired and exhausted
What good did I do in my past life that I was allowed to meet you all
I am so thankful today that we were born in the same age, share the same interests, and tell the same time
As I say that, I almost deleted this post by accident
In this moment I am also thankful that it did not get deleted
Indeed each moment of living in this world is a constant stream of gratitude
I was sick
I absolutely abhor exaggerating sickness
But this enteritis had me in a real duel against the grim reaper
...
I don't know how many thousands of times I was groaning "aigo" on the bed..
And thinking about how being sick prevented me from doing the last show properly
It was a tough time on my body and mind alike
But I am better now and able to write like this so.. Again thank you
Me stuck in the MCD waiting room
Me taking a weird selfie at Show Champ.
Mom and Grandma came to Seoul on showcase day
and stayed a few days with me
How my heart aches when we are apart
I would have dreams about Mom dying and cry loudly in the morning
But whenever I actually see them, I'm just the cynical youngest daughter
While I was gone, they told my sister that they're sad how I'm always only working all the time
And how I never tell them anything that happens, anything that bothers me.
I don't tell them because I don't want to burden them, but that too becomes disappointment
The relationship between mother and daughter is complicated
But I also understand her better than anyone
When I was little, I disliked how Mom would cry at something small
I was anxious when Mom would clutch her heart and take meds when there was a loud noise
But when I face the years, it is Mom, not me, whom I see in the mirror
I am growing to resemble Mom
I gained life from my mom
And ever since I was separated from her, even though she is by my side
I suppose I miss the moments when we were together, because I am always hungering for my mom's embrace.
Once when I looked at Mom's notebook, I saw me there as well.
Mom was a girl too once.
Mom also missed Mom, and she missed Dad too.
Mom. I miss you too
I write my love for you like this
I've told you already but wish you a happy 60th birthday, Mom
Even more than my own birthday.
Thank you for being born
Shall we change the subject
The day when I filmed YouTube with Choa unnie
This is my perspective when I woke up from sleep
I was blackout drunk yes
The pretty roses that Director Byeong-gi-nim sent me on showcase day
Thank you, Father
Me that's now in the past, telling myself "Let's go! Let's not get nervous and do well"
Pretty lotus flowers that I found on Pinter
Sooyoung tired from practice
This is a flower that bloomed upside down
No, I lied to you
You may have noticed, but I simply took this photo upside down
The world is such a place where truth is one thing if you say it is
and it is another thing if you say it is
There is no such thing is a person who is one kind of way or another
No such thing is "this is misfortune" or "that is happiness"
The important thing is the perspective you see with
And I think I am still clumsy
Today I will try sleeping upside down
For walking upside down is dangerous
Please have a peaceful night
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