Me
No I swear I'm writing this because I want to, really
Never tried this before
Night mode... What a scary fellow
Anyway I am in wild [yasaeng] mode, I mean night [yagan] mode right now
So I can't distinguish between colors very well
But I really wanted to express to you
The emotions I felt at the exhibition today
So here I am writing.
All right then, let's rewind my time today,
'It is now time to depart.....?'
Wah-ttah mah this coffee is my style, no acidity at all, perfectly savory;
Took a sip of this coffee and went, wattahmah this thing is good
Literally no bitterness and went so well with the brownie ㅜ
It's funny right, after telling you I was going to express the emotions of this exhibition and whatnot
This still counts as emotional yup..
This is a cafe that's right across from Piknic, the exhibition site
Looked to be new
The owners are kind and it's cozy so I'm willing to go back
We reserved for the exhibition at 3pm, but the rain had traffic backed up so I was late//.. I'm sorry Dohyeon
So we met at this cafe by 3:30
Used up all the time chatting until 3:59
And climbed up to the exhibition right across! is the story.
Babyapple
Just like any other day, rabbitlighting.
My friend Ohtani, I mean Kim Dohyeon
Dohyeon you look pretty here so I'm posting/.
If you don't like it I'll take it down tomorrow, scratch head ^~^
(Please don't misunderstand we are friends going back 10 years)
Dohyeon likes Ohtani sunbaenim very much
When she meets with me she fills up 20 hours talking about Ohtani
so sometimes I get confused if I'm meeting with Ohtani sunbaenim or with Dohyeon
But still Dohyeon, I like you very much.
My friend Ohtani, I mean Dohyeoni
["I will be living with cancer from now on. I am thinking to make just a little more music. I would be grateful if you were to keep watching."
- Ryuichi Sakamoto
January 2021"]
The start of the exhibition
Open the curtains at the entrance, and you see this sentence being illuminated by pin lighting.
When I read this and then looked around the exhibit
the site was not very large and rather cozy
And so it felt like I was watching and experiencing by his side
the little time that Ryuichi Sakamoto had left with cancer
So I had to walk as if something was stuck inside of me
with a heavy and stuffy heart
["Bernardo Bertolucci & Paul Bowles
'How many more full moons will I be able to see.' I have turned 70 this year and celebrated the gohui, but I have this thought frequently. Some may remember this line being in the film <The Sheltering Sky> (1990). It's a film by Bernardo Bertolucci, which I composed music for following <The Last Emperor> (1987). At the end of the film, the original author Paul Bowles appears and says this. "A human being cannot predict its own death, and thinks of life as a spring that never dries. But every event in the world happens perhaps a few times. Even with precious childhood memories, that you may think shaped your life, there's no saying how many more times you will remember them. Four or five times at most. How many more full moons will I be able to gaze at? Maybe twenty times at most. But people believe that opportunities are infinite."']
'How many more full moons will I be able to see'
'But every event in the world happens perhaps a few times. Even with precious childhood memories, that you may think shaped your life, there's no saying how many more times you will remember them. Four or five times at most.'
In a finite time, over some event that may happen a few times at most,
I cry as if the entire world would collapse
I've lazed around lying down, as if I am a superhuman with infinite time
And gotten up thinking 'I really need to pull myself together', thousands of times.
Even those are not unlimited actions and emotions.
But I live too forgetfully.
As if I'm someone who lives on the full moon.
With eyes round like full moons, I live on emptily.
The forest filled with green, I like. I liked.
When the narration ends, you can hear multi-directional sounds, in various languages alternating between each side of the headset, looking at a forest somehow forlorn.
It felt as if dark people in a dream were passing by
tossing their words here and there...
And also as if my tangled and tied thoughts inside of me, unknown even to me
were wriggling alive and speaking to me.
They were voices that made me listen, blankly.
["The last diaries of Ryuichi Sakamoto
May 12, 2021. In the old days, when someone was born, people would laugh, and when someone died, people would weep. In the future, life and existence will become more and more disregarded. Life will become an object of manipulation. It is a happy thing that I will die before seeing such a world.
July 31, 2021. Higher, faster. Being enthused over such things is quite akin to eugenic thinking. I would like to strive for a society that is not so.
October 28, 2021. (Handwritten note) I write music gazing into the demise of humanity and my own death / I would like to see something intense, to read, something that pierces into my heart. I am reading the writings of Sakaguchi Ango. There are passages that hint at power, but it is still insufficient / I would like to see Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel
November 21, 2021. Let's destroy the wall!
December 21, 2021. I regain the sense of musical equilibrium by listening to Mozart. At the same time, I feel a sense of strangeness, that this is very distant music. Somehow it feels dis---tant. But I also feel: this is the fundamentals of music.
December 24, 2021. Right now, what would you like to listen to?
December 27, 2021. When everyone's ego disappears, one can play a good performance.
[...]
March 21, 2022. Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 is barbaric and noble
April 18, 2022. At this point, I am prepared to accept any fate.
June 16, 2022. In NY / Sleepless night / Beautiful morning
August 7, 2022. The movie <Jules et Jim> is excellent. Makes me wish to read Apollinaire's novel. At the same time, I would like to read <Tsurezuregusa>.
September 23, 2022. I cannot live without old books / I also like guardrails
October 11, 2022. Living is a chore
November 15, 2022. Night, loss, excitement, jumble
December 24, 2022. SUGA piece done. / Saw Jarmusch's "Paterson" / Grew interest in Frank O'Hara, William Carlos Williams"]
I liked the human side of Ryuichi Sakamoto.
His emotions changing every day showed me
That even he who seemed so unflappable was human, like me,
October 11, 2022
Living is a chore
December 24, 2022
Grew interest in ...omitted...
["What a friend is
Between friends, there is no problem even if ideologies, principles, or interests differ. Simply someone you can lean on silently. Such people are not many but certainly do exist, and I have felt that that alone makes me a happy person. One such friend is the German artist Carsten Nicolai.
Once upon a time, the German artist Joseph Beuys and the Korean artist Nam June Paik grew a friendship that overcame over 8,000 kilometers of distance, from tip to tip of the Eurasian continent. It may be presumptuous to compare ourselves to the two artists, but I believe that my relationship with Carsten resembles that of those two."]
A friend
Simply someone you can lean on silently.
It felt strange to be standing with a friend of 10 years, reading this.
On my birthday this year (May 24) I felt sad for some reason
When everyone was sending me messages to wish me a happy birthday, I was crying sorrowfully.
All I said to Dohyeon was a single phrase, "I'm sad"
Dohyeon then FaceTimed me and silently listened to me just sobbing for an hour.
And, being my friend after all, she said to me playfully.
'Mah, why don't ya stop crying, you've cried a lot'
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I love you Dohyeonaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaack
Thanks to you, there's one more reason to be happy on my birthday
["...battered by the wind, the paint worn off, it is approaching the original state of wood. How will it continue rotting in this way. I think this question is linked also, to how we humans must grow old.
In January 2021, after my operation, I issued a comment saying "I will be living with cancer from now on. I am thinking to make just a little more music. I would be grateful if you were to keep watching." The reason why I chose to say 'live with cancer' rather than 'fight cancer' is perhaps because, in a corner of my mind, I had the thought that I could not help this, even if I strained to fight."]
Could not be helped, even if strained to fight
When his calm (even though I'm sure it's not) interview is over
a performance of my favorite song, "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence", begins
He says that he plays one song at a time
because an hour-long performance is now too much.
Having aged with time layered and layered upon him
the time that he created, note by note
for those four minutes or so felt so sorrowful.
I have this habit of always imagining things from the other person's perspective,
and imagining this performance being so difficult now, and how many more times would he be able to play it, made me so so sad.
There were quite a few people there, so I leaned on a pillar and flew my tears away(?) I literally let teardrops fly. So the makeup wouldn't smear ㅠㅠ
And it was difficult to understand the fact that this coming Christmas, I will listen to this song again, but he was no longer under the same sky
So then I whisked tears away again🥷
["On January 17, 2023, my 71st birthday, my new album was released. After a big operation and long hospital stay in early 2021, having returned to a temporary residence in Tokyo, I regained strength after some time and played around with a synthesizer. With no intent of wanting to make something, I just wanted to feel sound, to my heart's content. This was on March 10. Afterwards, I played the synthesizer and piano keys from time to time, and as if keeping a diary, I recorded those sketches.
Unlike other original albums I have released thus far, fundamentally this album is not produced based on some firm concept. It's simply synthesizer and piano sounds, played blandly, contained on a single album; it's nothing more than that. But to me today, such raw music, made without any plans, feels more satisfying. With this, I end my story for now.
Ars longa, vita brevis. (Art is long, life is short.)"]
Ars longa, vita brevis.
'With this, I end my story for now.'
.
.
.
.
(Refreshment time)
This is a book that I opened up at a bookstore near the exhibition?
And right away
I saw my favorite scene from the movie <Moonlit Winter> which I like
And I was so startled and glad. Hehe
["I visited here coincidentally after seeing the Ryuichi Sakamoto exhibition. Made another memory with Dohyeon. -Sooyoung - 08.22"]
There was a visitor log so I wrote in it too. Look it up if you happen to be nearby
This is not yours, you brat
With Ogu. Since you dislike false advertising
Some people might ask why I was so touched,
but back in that period when things were loud and tough for me, I was struggling with insomnia
When I listened to Ryuichi Sakamoto's play, I grew calm
and was able to sleep even if late
So I am even more passionately grateful and somehow sorrowful.
Your play, which I like so much
is no longer something I can hear in person
But I, who likes your music, has survived like this
and on this night that might be a full moon or a dark moon
I write this text about you.
I am a human being, who never realizes the finiteness of time
and perhaps that is why I like your music.
Because when I listen to your play, sometimes I grow sad
and sometimes I feel warm,
and I imagine that for you too, only after many thoughts
would you have laid hands on the piano keys.
This summer was quite so hot.
Today, on the way to see you, it rained and the weather was humid as if to take breath away, and I also forgot to bring an umbrella.
And then thanks to you, I got to spend a somewhat early Christmas.
You said art is long and life is short, and yet, watching us laying out stories loudly and vibrantly like this - I wonder if you perhaps continue to live on in us.
I don't know how cold this winter shall be.
How many times heavy snowfall will dizzy us, I have no clue; I don't even know what I will eat tomorrow.
There is much unknown, and much to think, and so life is truly a chore
but ironically, writing in this manner is very interesting.
Okay, leaving behind rambling words
now I would like to tell you the words that I truly cannot tell you.ᐟ
I hope the winters there are not cold, at least.
Comments section:
Yves: Where is that Ongi friend who said she would read before bed?
Ongi: Argk unnie I'm here...; Hehegh
ZinZZaHyuk: It's such a blessing to have met nuna this early in my short life
Yves: Ayoo I will work even harder thank you (—)(__)🖤.
ozvvll: Okonomiyaki...
Yves: Oh right.. I'm sorry Ryuichi
Jeong Iji: Here's a Geum Jandi who stayed still and waited
Yves: I declare you~~~~~ As my girlfriend blah blah;
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